Happy #7, Max McAlister!

Dear Max,

I can't believe I've been a momma for 7 years!  I should be an expert at this by now, right?! ;)  
Unfortunately, I never will be, as much as I'd like to think I have all the answers.  

Until fairly recently you believed I truly DID know everything there was to know.  But as you've grown, you've started to realize that I have fears and uncertainties and so much to learn, just like you do.  

Your questions about life have gotten harder.  And to be honest many of your questions are the same ones I have too.  There are so many things that don't make sense, or don't seem fair, or are so overwhelmingly magical that you wonder how it can possibly exist in this world.  The depth of your thoughts actually stops me in my tracks sometimes.

I had always worried about the day when you noticed that I'm not superhuman, however realizing that ALL of us are a constant work in progress has been good for you, my little perfectionist.  You want to be THE BEST at everything, but now that you're slowly seeing that everyone on earth (including your parents) is still learning and growing, you seem to be putting less pressure on yourself to know everything about everything at age 7.

  

Even though your father and I will never be perfect we will always be purposeful in the way we're raising you. I hope that we're teaching you to listen to your heart and that it will lead you to see the world.  I hope that we're instilling in you the courage to go after experiences which challenge you beyond the limits of comfort, because it's in that place you will stretch and grow and become who you're meant to be. 

Things will only get more complicated and confusing as you navigate your place in the world, but we're here -- both your solid foundation and a soft place for you to land.  Forever and ever.  No matter what.

Happy 7th Birthday, my love.

My whole heart,

Momma (and Dad too :)

And now a few pics of the festivities...

Max requested a Super Mario theme + Italian feast for his family party.

Max's menu include two kinds of lasagna, buttered noodles with "shaky cheese" and bread.
He let me know that the salad was NOT requested :)

feeding his Michael Jordan obsession.

 

No joke, my child begged for a Dictionary for his birthday.

Lots of Star Wars legos from Lolli!

Attempting to capture these crazy cousins...

 Max also got to celebrate with a few friends at Waldo Pizza and Lego Batman in 3D.

This is the 7th year Max has collected donations for RMHKC in lieu of gifts for his birthday.  This is one of his favorite traditions - can't you just see the pride on his face?

And he obviously (see above) gets PLENTY of presents:)

I remember filling out the donation form with a wiggly one-year-old in my arms that first year.  

Now he can fill it out himself :(

Lastly, treats for his friends at school.  He insisted they say"Maxman" instead of "Batman".  

This kid knows what he wants.

Ok, Maxman, birthday extravaganza is OVER.  Until next year.

5.5 | Happy Half, Sullivan Michael.

Just a few quick pics of Sully's "Happy Half" celebration...our little tradition of gathering at each kiddos "spot" on their half birthday and giving them some extra love.  

Over dinner we say things like, "Can you BELIEVE you're already halfway to your next birthday?!" and "Have we ever told you that we're SO glad you were born?".  The boys' responses are always "yes", "yes" and "Wait, why don't I get presents today??". 
So sentimental they are ;) 

 However, they did agree to continue doing our Happy Half celebrations even when they're grown-ups, so...I win.

Before we go on, can I just do this real quick? #flashback

Growing up so fast!

Everyone particularly loves Sully's half because his place has plenty of games and junk food.  We give each of the boys a stack of quarters to spend on the games/candy machines while we order nachos, warm pretzels and pizza for dinner.  Everyone is fat and happy by the time we leave.

skee ball is always a major hit with the boys.

my Pac-Man partner.

Lolli and GG got to join us since it coincided with our weekly "Monday Night Dinner" this year!

Me and my sweet Sully.  photo cred: Max

Chaos & Christmastime

As usual, our Christmas season was a good mix of joy and chaos.  I'm still feeling a little dizzy from all the merry madness.

I look forward to the holidays each year, yet it consistently feels like we didn't quite fit everything in.  We're perpetually rushing around to go/do/see.   It's challenging to keep up with all the fun traditions, yet slow down enough to truly enjoy them. I'm not sure we've found the right balance quite yet.  There's no escaping it, December is the busiest and also the most wonderful time of the year.  

Regardless of the general holiday hustle/bustle we found happiness in the little, big, magical (and even the imperfect) things this season always brings.

A few blurry scenes from our Christmastime festivities:

Christmas Eve Jammies

(and Milo's absurd reindeer hat. He's wearing it ironically... ;)

So much brother love I could burst. Even Fletcher is looking lovingly at Milo, ha!

The most decadent Opera Cake, thanks to Aixios! 

Always so good to us, and always so delicious.

I'm pretty sure this blurry iPhone pic is the only one we have of the whole clan (with everyone semi-looking in the direction of the camera).

Christmas Eve at Lolli's.

The boys sprinkling reindeer food in the yard before heading to bed on Christmas Eve.

This is it!  Christmas morning. The moment they've been waiting for.  

Boo again for low-quality pics.  (I've gotta get out my good camera more often!)

They literally couldn't wait another second.

Each kid gets three Santa gifts every year.  

Three Wisemen, three gifts for baby Jesus...this rationale makes sense to the boys and Santa's bank account ;)

Max: telescope, lava lamp and rock'em sock'em robots.
Sullivan: air hockey, the game of perfection, magic penny
Fletcher: marble tree, AlphaBuild magnets, guess who
Milo: bilibo, counting hedgehog, bag of balls (his fave)

Deep into the Christmas morning wonder...  

This guy just wanted Santa's leftover cookies.

They get one "group gift" from Santa too.  This year it was a VW tent.  

All four of them love to hoard all of their toys inside and pile in together.

Sully shoving Milo in :)

Stockings!

my four little ducklings, all in a row.

Last but not least, OUR gift to the boys.  A full band set up on stage.  

Lots of joyful noise coming from the basement these days!!!

Max has been taking piano lessons for almost a year now.  

It was sweet to listen to him play music from my old Christmas recital primer circa 1989.

Sully on drums!  

Plus, bonus gift from Billy to all of us.  

A hand-painted flag of the Murray family crest custom made by COMMONWILD Flag Co

So much destruction.  So much fun.

Air hockey has been a major hit.

I used to think there was nothing better than being a kid on Christmas...until I had kids of my own. I never get tired of re-living moments of my own childhood through them. The infinite loop of past and present, I think it surely must top the list of "things that are pretty cool about being a parent". 

We hope you and yours had the merriest holiday season!

A few memories of Christmas' past, just because:

2015

Blog Post : Comfort & Joy (link)

2014

2013

2012

It’s been a year.

It's been nearly a year since the rug was pulled out from under our family. 
Normally I love documenting milestones and anniversaries, but this is one I’ve been dreading. 

Life can be so tragically random.   And death, from this side of it, seems so vast and enveloping.  It’s something I hadn’t ever truly faced before.  It’s hard to articulate how it feels to walk around in this new reality…although I know I’m not alone in this club no one wants to be a member of.

I’ve spent so many quiet moments over the last year whispering out loud to the universe…“What is the world going to do without him?”   It just seemed like so much hinged on his being.  His goodness, his opinions, his experiences and wild stories.  I’ve learned that life truly does go on, though.

In some ways he's still very much alive in my mind because my memories of him are so vivid.  His larger-than-life presence hasn't even begun to fade around me.  I'm grateful for that...but I wonder how long it will last as time marches on. 

It seems daunting to face the rest of my life without his physical presence, but in these last 365+/- days I've tried to open my eyes and see all that he has left.  Mostly, that brings into focus the kids - his grandchildren.  Those who will carry on his legacy...

Dear Max, Sullivan, Fletcher, Milo + Annabelle, Sadie and Peter, 

I want you to know…your Boobo couldn’t wait to become a grandfather.  You could almost see his heart glow with pride when he met each and every one of you for the first time.  May you continue to sense his love and warmth throughout your lives.  

I hope you always know him by the gentle nudge you feel to do the right thing, in that instinct you have to give someone a chance, the urge you get to pass along your good fortune or the fortitude that rises up and pushes you to take a giant leap of faith.  That is him beside you.  Those are the things he valued and lived daily.

The greatness of his love is still with you. Multiplied indefinitely among you all.  And whatever reality lies beyond this life, please never ever doubt the deep, steadfast love he has for each of you.

My whole heart,

Momma/Aunt Billy

One of a kind. I miss this face so much.