Monday, September 28, 2015

Its gotten real.

Having four kids "5-and-under" is no joke.  Things have gotten real, REAL fast in the Murray household with the addition of our sweet Milo.

There's more noise, less sleep, tested patience and just general pandemonium at times.  But even with all of that...we're celebrating the chaos...because the endless, boundless love that each individual child brings to our family is worth the growing pains a million times over.  
And truthfully, it's been easier than I thought it would be since the "bigs" have welcomed their littlest brother with open arms.  We've had no jealousy issues at all.  It's basically just me being needed in so many ways at the same time...Milo wants to eat...Fletcher needs help with his shoes...Sully wants me to do a puzzle with him...and Max wants to practice his reading.  I just take a deep breath and thank God that these are my struggles.  Four beautiful, healthy children need me.  I feel extremely fortunate.  And one by one each need is met.  We're all learning the art of patience.

Yes, having four young ones has pushed me to my capacity in many ways, but my capacity for love continues to grow.  There is infinite room in my heart for these sweet, messy, loud little babes.  

So, I've made the decision to surrender to the wildness. 
Sometimes you just have to lay on the floor with the cheerio crumbs and let the crazy consume you ;)  
Early morning hijinks.
Because I know I won't always be so needed.  Milo will sleep through the night sooner than I can imagine at this current sleep-deprived moment.  Fletcher will stop throwing everything within his reach and boldly disobeying me as his hobby.  (The older two certainly did at some point.)
It won't always be like this.  And that actually makes me more sad than happy.
Plaza Art Fair. You can't really see him, but sweaty baby #4 is snuggled in the carrier :)
 Max. Sullivan. Fletcher. Milo.
You four boys fill up my life more than you can imagine.  
I found myself when I became a mother. 
It's without a doubt the thing I was made for.

I love each of you to the far-reaching corners of my heart.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

A soul so new.

You are...
a joy,
a beginning,
a dream come true,
You are...
Quick (censored ;)) details:
My water broke at 4:30pm on 9/1 and Milo was born 4 hours later via the fastest, hardest labor I've experienced so far.   Getting to the hospital was like a scene from a movie - we dropped the boys with our neighbor and drove through rush hour traffic to the hospital.  I was the woman in the wheelchair screaming for an epidural the moment I was wheeled off the elevator.

Fortunately (but also, unfortunately) he was born facing up instead of face down like babies are supposed to be...which is what bought us a little extra time...but also made for a much more difficult and painful labor.  It was very different from my previous three 18+ hour labors.
But, oh, the end result was so worth it as always...
I'm currently still in baby lala land.  
It's a place of both exhaustion and euphoria.  
I'm existing purely on adrenaline and love and a feeling of achievement.  
And if I didn't have so much help from family and friends I'm sure I'd be crashing soon.

Even the fourth time around, the breath-taking love overwhelms me.
I have fallen madly, deeply for this little boy.
The brothers are thrilled.  They LOVE him.  Maybe too much, because the biggest fight around here these days is who gets to hold Milo next and for how long.  And Fletcher thinks Milo belongs to him.  It's been so sweet to watch him become a big brother (although the instinct didn't kick in until we arrived home from the hospital).
Here we go.  Ready for the real world!

 Milo, we can't imagine our family without you in it.  Welcome to the fun little guy :)